Lunch For Two
JB Diner, Brighton
How do I even start this? I can't think of an appropriate way of expressing my tremendous disappointment with this place. It was a disgrace!
Mr.Boyfriend and I went there for a lunch on Saturday because he had some nice memories from the last time he went, maybe 5 or so years ago. After being seated at sticky sofas and cheap looking table we were given the menu by a waitress in an obvious hurry to get away from us. Never realised that we make such a disgusting couple but Hey, you learn new things every day.
The bunch of running around waitresses, all very bubbly and giggling with the boys seated a table from us, needed around 10 minutes to realise that our menus have been down for quite a while and we were more than ready to order. Mr.Boyfriend was having the King Burger and a pint of Coors light beer while I had a Chicken BLT Burger and a Caramel Milkshake. After taking our orders it took only minute to have our food in front of us. While sometimes we all wish food miraculously showed in a matter of seconds in our plates, this is never a good sign when one's eating out. Why? Well, because this means this food is not made-to-order but instead is lying around, cooked, and it's waiting for someone to order it so it can be reheated in few seconds and served.
This was exactly the case with our burgers. The buns were from the cheapest possible brand in the corner shop, characterised by unmistakable sweetish taste, yellow colour and the fact that they dissolve the moment you touch them. My chicken had no taste whatsoever, it was hard and unpleasant to chew on. Mr.Boyfriend's burger bun was the same story and his pulled pork tasted slightly off. The latter might be the result of overdoing with the BBQ sauce or I don't know what.
All burgers come with chips and salad as a garnish. And while the portions of cheap, reheated chips were more than generous, the salad was close to nonexistent and it would've been less embarrassing for the establishment if it wasn't served at all.
Taking in account that the food took lest that 2 minutes to arrive, the drinks took their sweet time. Or should I say the waitress currently behind the bar took close to 15 minutes to stop chatting up with the guys hitting on her and to remember she had beer to pour and milkshake to make. While I don't have any comments on a brand of beer that I have never tried before, I have one or two about the milkshake. How about how disgustingly dirty the glass and the shaker were. Or the fact that someone hadn't learnt their measurements because half of the ice-cream promised for the milkshake was served in said shaker. Or that the waitress almost poured it all over me, And that they forgot to add any caramel sauce to the so-called caramel milkshake.
After we ate as much as we could before deciding that the stomachache is not worth. We managed to distract one of the waitresses from her very important conversations enough to ask for the bill and were served yet another unpleasant surprise. Oh, hello, there is a serves included in the check, because this is how we do it. We overcharge for cheap bad food and then we punish you by adding the tip without even asking. I just hope that these 10% don't go to the owners, you know.
The overall verdict is that this was an expensive, old McDonald's that is licensed to server alcohol. Fast food on steroid. A place to avoid on all costs!
Food: 1/10
Service: 2/0
Interior: 1/10
Location: 8/10
Pricing: 1/10
Overall Grade: 2/10
Will I go back? NEVER. You read that, I will not eat at this place EVER again. If I feel like fast food I would much rather go to McDonald's where it's cheaper and the staff knows me and will prepare the food especially for me.
You can't get lost if you don't know where you're going...
